Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
