Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you made out with another girl for some wings
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
