Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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