I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
