So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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