I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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