I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
