I wish you could order shots online.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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