Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
