I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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