Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
