life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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