I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.