I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
