their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
