Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
