Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When did we convert life to cartoon?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize