That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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