I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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