C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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