I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
