when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
worst night to have a conscience
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
