Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
