if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
