I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
