Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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