Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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