Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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