singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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