How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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