this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
