Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
