worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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