those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Alive.
So much puke
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
