nut hugger
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
