Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
