We're like a lot better than the average bears
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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