sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
