Life is so much better after having sex.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
