she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
40s are totally the cure
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
