Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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