Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you like me you must not know who I am
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
