I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
