Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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