can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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