There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
