Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
