You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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