I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
