I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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