You work out of a Hotel?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
