is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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