I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
