it wasn't lemon gatorade
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
