Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
