these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
