Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
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He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You are the jesus of drinking
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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