Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
