i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
