so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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