The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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