Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
