A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
