Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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